Sex Experts.

Posted in Marriage Monday with 13 comments

UPDATE: I have been informed that the Gottman blog has, on more than one occasion, promoted some things that do not align with God’s word. It is my goal for Mystery32 is to glorify the Lord and I never want to stray away from that in any way. While I will keep their website below because I do think it has some great advice and practical ideas, I want to warn everyone who reads it to understand and be watchful for advice that could lead you in the wrong direction. If you have any questions about something they say, I recommend looking it up in the Bible and seeking godly counsel. I never want to represent something that is not honoring and biblical. Thanks!


If you haven’t noticed, I’m getting into “sex blogging”.

Ok, that sounds a little weird… I’ll try that one again…

I’m starting to blog about having a fulfilling, God honoring, sex life in your marriage. There, that’s better.

I’m shooting for the first Monday of each month. It started in January with my challenge to make a New Year’s Sexolution. Then, Ms. J from Hot, Holy, and Humorous helped me out last month by talking about The Beauty of Marital Intimacy. So now we are on month 3.

Going into this month, I’ve been really wondering what I’m doing with this. I mean, I don’t think I’m an expert when it comes to sex. But then I had to wonder, who is? One could study the topic, but if they aren’t experiencing it, are they an expert? And what about someone who has had sex countless times? Are they experts if they have never really studied the topic? And even if one has studied the topic of sex AND has had it numerous times… are they really experts?

Alright, so bear with me, but I had to look up the definition of “expert” and it means: “A person with a high degree of skill in or knowledge of a certain subject.” Hm. Not helpful.What qualifies as a “high degree”? I have a master’s degree, does that count?

Ok, time for my own definition: Expert- “One who knows their stuff and whom you can trust with a specific topic.” Profound, is it not?

Ok, so by my definition, I want to share with you this week some people I think are “sex experts”. The one’s I turn to for advice and ideas. Some of these people blog regularly on sex while other’s only so often, but each of them have amazing wisdom and knowledge in the area. I trust them and think they know their stuff, so I want to pass them along to you.


Hot, Holy & Humorous –
You’ve already met J, but there’s no way I could write this without including her. She is definitely an expert on the topic of sex in marriage. In fact, it’s not only her expertise, but her passion. She only blogs on sex and has a fun and unique way of discussing the issues that no one else will. Really, nothing is out of her reach. Really… nothing. She will talk about any sex issue under the sun no matter how taboo it is. But what I love about J is that she does so with integrity. You will find information on her site, but you know that you are safe there. She is a strong believer who believes God designed sex for a purpose. I fully respect her for going the distance on the issue and fearing no one but the Lord in what she does!


Intimacy in Marriage – Julie Sibert –
Julie is an amazing sex blogger. She specifically targets wives and really  brings to light the issue of women avoiding sex with their husbands. She is incredibly encouraging and uplifting in her posts, but tells it how it is. While I haven’t met Julie, I always envision her as a sweet, helpful mentor sitting next to me over a cup of coffee while we talk marriage life together. She has a true heart for the Lord that is evident in her writing and she uses the Word as the basis for her entire blog. Whether you are a wife struggling with sex or you enjoy every minute of it, I highly recommend you check our her blog!


Married Spice – Chip and Cherry Pepper-
Mr. and Mrs. Pepper are nothing but real when it comes to sex in marriage. And they don’t leave anything out. Just their “position of the week” post (with wood figurines, not real people) as soon as you enter their site is enough to prove that. They are different from the last two bloggers in that they write from a couple’s perspective, not just the wives, so you get both points of view. They are extremely funny in their writing and make it easy to read the truth they are trying to convey. They use scriptures such as those from Song of Solomon to encourage intimate discussions for you and your spouse. I enjoy their blog and know you will too!


The Gottman Sex Blog – John and Julie Gottman -
You may have heard of the Gottman Insitute or the Relationship Research Institute, well, here are the masterminds behind them! This couple has more experience and knowledge than probably most of us bloggers put together. They each have written numerous books on marriage and have truly researched sex in the marital relationship. I will warn you, they are not Biblically-based writers. While I’m not sure of their religious background, they do not write from a Christian perspective in their blog (that I have seen). But, they only discuss MARITAL sex and I have never seen anything remotely close to offensive so that is good for me. They have amazing, practical advice for your sex life and many ideas to make it fun and different. I think you will enjoy their game ideas and some very different ideas to improving life in the bedroom.


To Love, Honor, and Vacuum – Sheila Gregorie -
Sheila just finished a book titled: The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun). Need I say more? This lady knows her stuff and I have especially loved her February series titled “29 Days to Great Sex” where she gives you a little taste of what you will see in this book. She writes for wives specifically and does an amazing job. I have actually recommended her 29 day challenge to several of my girlfriends and know that some are really enjoying it! She is the only blogger on the list that does not only write on sex, she talks a lot about parenting, marriage, and other issues as well, but with her recent series and her new book I couldn’t leave her off this list. She’s great!


The Marriage Bed – Paul and Lori Byelry –
These two amaze me. Not only because of their awesome material, but because this is not the only material they have! They also write frequently for separate blogs: The Generous Husband and The Generous Wife. I really don’t know how they do it all and with such quality! Paul and Lori usually have short, straight to point posts that have an incredible amount of truth to them. Their testimony is quite amazing and has brought them all the knowledge and wisdom that share with us on their blog. They have a strong faith that they put in every aspect of their writing and God is definitely blessing their work as their following is great! I have been honored to be mentioned on their site a few times and am always so thankful for the spike it gives my statistics. ;) I highly recommend you check out ALL of their sites!


So there you have it. Just a few of the wise and talented sex experts out there. I hope you will take a look at all of their sites and pass them on to others they know. Sex is something we often keep “hush hush” in our Christian communities but these writers are not afraid to lay it all out there for the sake of strengthening our marriages. Thank you, experts! I know I, personally, have a lot to learn!


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  1. J (Hot, Holy & Humorous)

    Thanks so much! I was nodding throughout as you described the other bloggers. I am, however, kicking myself for not following the Gottman blog. I highly recommend Dr. Gottman’s 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work book and their marriage research is amazing. I’m going to click that RSS feed today.

    As to the definition, I liked yours better. At first, I was wondering if I should ask my husband if I have a “high degree of skill” to qualify me as an expert. ;)

    • erinmbaxter

      Thank YOU, J! I’m so thankful to have bloggers like you that I can recommend! And you are definitely an expert in my eyes, but I would guess that your hubby would know best…

  2. Cherry Pepper

    Wow. Thanks Erin. Although I wouldn’t call me a sexpert, and I can’t speak for Chip, but we just like it a lot….so that has to count for something. Ha! Seriously, thanks for the shout out on your lovely blog. We are not faithful bloggers as much as we are Tweeters! But, trying to keep it exciting and to blog more often is our goal for 2012. We have a crazy busy life, but truly want to help couples see the beauty & humor in their marriages. God bless you!

    • erinmbaxter

      Thank you, Cherry! I love your blog and I love all of your quirky tweets too! :) I appreciate you both being so open and willing to share. You are a blessing!

  3. Emily

    Thanks for the list! I didn’t know Christian sex blogs existed! Ok, that does sound weird… how about “Christian view-of-sex blogs”! Anyway, thanks again for sharing!

    • erinmbaxter

      :) Thanks for checking out the blog! It is unfortunate that so many people are unaware of such awesome resources, but I’m glad that I could help! God bless!

  4. Julie Sibert

    Thank you Erin… I’m humbled by your kindness (I wish we could get together for coffee! I would LOVE that!!)

    It’s so nice to connect with others out in cyberworld who are so committed to encouraging healthy marriages! Keep up the great work! You are making a difference and God is certainly well pleased by your heart!

    Blessings in Christ, julie

    • erinmbaxter

      Thanks so much, Julie! I’m honored that you read it. I definitely look up to you! Thank you for serving so many women and marriages! God bless!

    • erinmbaxter

      Thank YOU, Paul! I’m so thankful to have blogs such as yours to share! You and all of these bloggers are such a blessing to many!