It’s been awhile since our last “What’s Your Secret?” post. If you need a refresher about what this is, check out the first one from my mom HERE. You can also read stories from April, Alecia, and Pearl. And I would love to hear YOUR secret to a great marriage! E-mail me at erin[at]mystery32[dot]com.
Kate and her husband Brad take turns blogging over at One Flesh Marriage. They are amazing writers and true advocates for a godly marriage. They have been such great encouragers through my journey of blogging and I look up to them greatly! I hope you will enjoy their story and learn amazing things from it! Thanks Kate!
Kate from One Flesh Marriage says . . .
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? (Matthew 19:5 KJV)
I love how the King James Version of this verse uses the word “cleave” or to cling to. And of course there is the poetic “they twain shall be one flesh”. Who doesn’t love using the word twain? I love the mental and physical image of cleaving to one another in marriage. It is a concept that God spoke to my heart in a very emotional time in my life.
“Share These Burdens”
In 2009 and 10 my uncle, who was dying from cancer came to live with us. It was a joy to care for him, but it was 8 months of very long days both physically and emotionally. We have three children and at the time their ages were 3, 5 and 6. Even in my exhaustion sleep was hard to find on many nights. It was during one of those nights that God spoke to my heart “cling to your husband; he is who I have given you to share these burdens with!”
I heard cling and I did just that, I scooted over and wrapped myself around my hubby, and in turn he wrapped himself around me. After awhile, one thing led to another and well, I don’t need to say more do I?
Every evening after that, when everyone was settled, I would wrap myself around my hubby again. I didn’t use words to explain how I was feeling or what I needed, we just figured it out together. Sometimes we talked, sometimes I cried, many times we had sex. It was an amazing time in our marriage and we have not stopped moving forward since.
Now let me rewind to the beginning 5 years of our marriage. I struggled with understanding God’s plan for sex and intimacy. My hubby would share that he had a warped sense of what God’s design was too. So as you can imagine, it was not the best time in our marriage. Yet, God never leaves us and is always faithful!
Cling To Him!
One of the most beautiful things you can do in your marriage is to cling to your hubby! Cling to him when you are excited and happy, when life is good. Cling to him when life is sad and tears are in abundance. Cling to him when you are afraid and worry is closing in on you. Cling to him when life is stressful at work or your experience loss like you have never known. Cling to him!
In my post, Sex is the Glue, I talk about the fact that God designed sexual intimacy to be glue for your marriage. To bind you together no matter what life brings. Sex is the one thing that you and your hubby can enjoy together, that you can share with no one else. God intended for sex to be that special blessing.
I know that when the busyness of life crowds in on me, clinging to my husband does not come to mind first. Especially having young kiddos at home there are some days I just want space and no one touching me. Those times are valid too, so when you need space it is ok. Yet I think that we get stuck in the mindset that when we need time to relax and downshift it has to be alone. Don’t let this become your mindset often. God wants us to cling to our hubby’s and what a better way to downshift and relax then to enjoy clinging together.
Does cling automatically mean sex?
No, it doesn’t. Cling means to spend time with your hubby, everyday if possible. Spend time that is just the two of you together. Talk about each other’s day, share your dreams, cry together-share your lives! So many times we go through our lives and our hubby doesn’t even know what we are going through. Take alone time every day to share these things.
Clinging Is Intimate
When you cling you are being intimate. Emotionally, spiritually and intellectually intimate with each other. This deep intimacy will encourage sexual intimacy. Wives will get their emotion needs met before sex, which is what many women complain of in marriage.
Clinging Take Time
Sometimes we have to step up ladies and carve out time for such things. Stop leaving them to chance or for your hubby to initiate. Carve out time to cling to him with alone time. When I started clinging to my hubby, I did not really have sex on the mind, but many times it ended up in sex. What a blessing that time became in our marriage. So much so, that we do anything we can to protect it now! No one gets in the way of “our” time. Not even our three kids who we love dearly and shower with lots of affection and time. They need to know our marriage comes first.
So ladies, what do you think about clinging to your hubby? Is cling something that comes naturally or do you struggle with it? Share how clinging to your hubby has been a blessing to your one flesh journey.
Brad and Kate Aldrich write and speak on all things marriage. In 2009 they followed God’s prompting and founded One Flesh Marriage Ministries, a blog based on their marriage journey and God’s word in Ephesians 5. Brad is a Pennsylvania Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the director of the Family Resource and Counseling Centers. Kate is a homeschooling mom and a natural light portrait photographer in her free time. God has given Brad and Kate three amazing blessings, two biological and one adopted who have enriched their life and marriage. They live in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania where the Amish buggies roam. You can find their blog at www.onefleshmarriage.com