No, literally. It’s everywhere.
Perhaps you are a woman who has had a baby before and remember this strange repercussion of being pregnant. 3 months out and your lovely, thick hair that came during pregnancy now falls out in handfuls as you sadly feel your hair become thinner and thinner and wait… is that a bald spot I feel?? Sigh.
But that’s not the only reason my hair is falling out. I feel like I may be “pulling it out” (figuratively speaking) as I figure out how to do everything I used to do… and be a mom too. Don’t get me wrong. Being a mom is one of the biggest blessings of my life and I would never want my world to go back to what it once was before my little guy came into it. But being a mom and getting things done? How does that work?
Before I go on, I know you are just dying for a picture of my little one. Right? Of course you are!
Ok, now that we’ve got that cuteness out of the way…
I’m trying to figure all of this out. Here’s a sweet little pile of cute that simply cannot do anything for himself and needs me every second of the day but while caring for him I must keep the house from becoming absolutely trashed (being clean is not a priority anymore, people), make sure my husband is being loved the way he should be, maintain relationships with friends who either don’t understand the mom pressures or are just as busy with them themselves, and be sure to thank the Lord and worship Him through all this as well.
I’m trying to find time to learn to parent, ignore the judgement for my parenting (that’s a whole other blog post in itself…), find ways to get rid of this baby body, and shower. Yes, I sometimes shower. And eat. When was the last time I ate? I check social media often as I have a babe literally attached to me for several hours a day and there is little else I can do during that time, but that’s about the extent of my adult interactions for the majority of most days.
I’m not supermom. In fact, if supermom really exists, I wonder if she ever sleeps, because it is simply impossible. There are many on this journey that have figured all this out much better than I have, and I could go on and on about how I compare myself to them, but what I have come to realize is that I am on no one’s path but my own. I’m figuring this all out at my own speed and my own pace as I simply wake up each morning, cuddle my little one and make sure I don’t miss a moment where I could be loving him rather than doing something else “important”. I’m learning that I sometimes have to go a few weeks from blogging because I would rather disappoint people than to put out material that was not God-inspired and not what I know could be better. I’m choosing to make blogging a priority but to make sure my hubby and my baby boy are always getting what they need first. So what does that look like? I’m not sure. Like I said, I’m figuring this whole mom thing out. But one thing is for sure: I’m not aiming for supermom status, I’m just aiming to love.
So why do I share this with you? In many ways it may seem like a waste of my time and of a blog post. But I share not only to let you have a small glimpse of what has been going on in my life the last few weeks, but also to let you know that it is ok not to be super. You may or may not be a mom, or even a parent, but know that there are going to be times in your life that you just can’t be great at everything. There are times when you have to let others down and that you have to accept that God can fill in the holes that you must leave open. I’m pretty sure that’s what grace is all about.
So as you go about your week, remember this: You are not alone in your “failures”. You are not alone in pulling your hair out over everything on your plate. You are not alone in not being the best and you are not alone in just trying to figure things out. I’m right there with you and more importantly, God’s got you and I covered.
So go forth in that thought and take a deep breath. Just throw your hair up and cover the bald spots that may show through. Because hair will grow back in time and just as slowly, we will figure this stage of life out too.